How to Give a Wedding Toast That Wows Guests
Forks gently chime against champagne flutes, excited voices demure into lower rumblings, there’s a barely audible throat clear followed by “ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, bride and groom—marriage is what brings us together…”
That may have been the scene of wedding receptions generations ago, but these days toasts are more bespoke, more personalized and—like nuptial celebrations themselves—entirely reflective of the couple.
The tradition of toasting to couples on their Big Day can be traced as far back as the 1st and 2nd centuries when early Christians are said to have clinked glasses in hopes of warding off evil spirits with the sounds that mimicked those of bells. In Germany, in the 5th century, toasting was a common practice to wish for a collective life filled with happiness, prosperity, and health. Those sentiments are just as true today when honored guests publicly share thoughts and wishes for the bride and groom as they embark on their happily ever after.
No matter if you are a polished pro who regularly speaks in public or a shy bestie from college who would rather skip the spotlight, delivering a speech doesn’t have to be a daunting task. With a bit of preparation, practice, and poise, you’re sure to sparkle with your delivery. Here are five no-fail tips—and a notable bonus—to make your toast memorable in the best way possible. Cheers!
1. Stick to A Structure
Reinventing the wheel for this wedding reception tradition unnecessarily overcomplicates the situation. Tread as those before you with a strict scaffolding to structure your speech. Start with a welcoming of guests and acknowledgement of the couple, in addition to sharing how and why you are related to them. Then recount a relatable anecdote about the couple, and speak to why they are a wonderful match, before raising a glass and inviting all guests to toast to your parting wishes.
2. Personalize Your Thoughts
The toast is a spotlight on the couple, their collective personality, and their perfect pairing. And there’s a reason you were chosen to deliver the speech that encapsulates all that. The most compelling way to honor the couple is to be specific (and short, but more on that in tip five). Instead of saying “the bride and groom are perfect for each other” lean into their favorite foods or activities. Add a flair of your own experiences with the couple too when you share: “our taco connoisseur finally discovered the perfect guacamole to compliment her adventures—he’s got the perfect amount of spice” or “crossing the marathon finish line just got a lot easier now that he’s got his forever pace coach.” Using anecdotes that are relatable, express how they share values and vision. Conclude the sentiments with best wishes, positive vibes, and a raised glass. Congratulations to the ultimate couple!
3. Make Space
In other words: Command the room. Make sure you are seen by the majority of the reception, and don’t start speaking until all eyes are on you. Before you begin, ask the band or DJ to encourage the crowd to quiet down and make sure the audio equipment is working well. Resist the urge to hold the mic too closely; it garbles the sound. Pause at applause and laughter. And remember to look at the couple often. Above all—have fun.
4. Skip the Champagne
We’ve all experienced the rambler, and their wine-fueled winded and winding inside jokes that no one knows.
Being memorable for an alcohol-fueled meandering speech without context isn’t a good look. Save the imbibing until after you’ve led the reception in a toast. Similarly read the room: Keep retellings of risqué episodes for the bachelorette party. Skip the squirm—parents, grandparents, and work colleagues aren’t interested (or likely comfortable) in hearing intimate details.
5. Keep Your Eye on the Clock
“Keep them wanting more.” It’s a quote that has been attributed to the ultimate showman P.T. Barnum. And its sentiment is just as true for a wedding speech. Short, sweet, and to-the-point is bound to get rave reviews. Time yourself when practicing and cut any anecdote that pushes your speaking time over four minutes. Three minutes is really the ideal speech time.
Bonus: Prep and Prepare Sure, practice makes perfect (and ensures you make your time mark), but perhaps more importantly, it infuses your delivery with confidence. But this tip is more about avoiding the siren call of the impromptu “few words.” While being overcome with emotion and raising your hand to toast to the happy couple may feel romantic, it’s ill-advised. In addition to taking focus from the couple and their planned day, an unpracticed share can easily veer into cringe territory. (Refer to the previous two tips on why, exactly).
